by Kelly Osmont
You asked, "How am I doing?"
As I told you, tears came to my eyes... and you looked away and quickly began to talk again. All the attention you had given me drained away.
"How am I doing?"...
I do better when people listen, though I may shed a tear or two. This pain is indescribable. If you've never known it you cannot fully understand. Yet I need you. When you look away, When I'm ignored, I am again alone with it.
Your attention means more than you can ever know. Really, tears are not a bad sign, you know! They're nature's way of helping me to heal...They relieve some of the stress of sadness.
I know you fear that asking how I'm doing brings me sadness ...but you're wrong. The memory of my loved one's death will always be with me, Only a thought away. My tears make my pain more visible to you, but you did not give me the pain...it was already there.
When I cry, could it be that you feel helpless, not knowing what to do? You are not helpless, And you don't need to do a thing but be there. When I feel your permissionto allow my tears to flow, you've helped me. You need not speak. Your silence as I cry is all I need. Be patient...do not fear.
Listening with your heart to"how I am doing" relieves the pain, for when the tears can freely come and go, I feel lighter. Talking to you releases what I've been wanting to say aloud, clearing space for a touch of joy in my life. I'll cry for a minute or two... and then I'll wipe my eyes, and sometimes you'll even find I'm laughing later.
When I hold back the tears, my throat grows tight, my chest aches, my stomach knots... because I'm trying to protect you from my tears. Then we both hurt...me, because my pain is held inside, a shield against our closeness...and you, because suddenly we're distant. So please, take my handand see me through my tears... then we can be close again.
The Loss Of A Child
The moment that I knew you had died,
My heart split in two,
The one side filled with memories,
The other died with you.
I often lay awake at night,
When the world is fast asleep,
And take a walk down memory lane,
With tears upon my cheek.
Remembering you is easy,
I do it every day,
But missing you is a heartache,
That never goes away.
I hold you tightly within my heart,
And there you will remain,
Life has gone on without you,
But it never will be the same.
For those who still have their children,
Treat them with tender care,
You will never know the emptiness,
As when you turn and they are not there.
Don't tell me that you understand,
don't tell me that you know.
Don't tell me that I will survive,
How I will surely grow.
Don't tell me this is just a test,
That I am truly blessed.
That I am chosen for the task,
Apart from all the rest.
Don't come at me with answers
That can only come from me,
Don't tell me how my grief will pass,
That I will soon be free.
Don't stand in pious judgment
the bonds I must untie,
Don't tell me how to grieve,
Don't tell me when to cry.
Accept me in my ups and downs,
need someone to share,
Just hold my hand and let me cry
And say, "My friend, I care
Author unknown
My heart split in two,
The one side filled with memories,
The other died with you.
I often lay awake at night,
When the world is fast asleep,
And take a walk down memory lane,
With tears upon my cheek.
Remembering you is easy,
I do it every day,
But missing you is a heartache,
That never goes away.
I hold you tightly within my heart,
And there you will remain,
Life has gone on without you,
But it never will be the same.
For those who still have their children,
Treat them with tender care,
You will never know the emptiness,
As when you turn and they are not there.
Don't tell me that you understand,
don't tell me that you know.
Don't tell me that I will survive,
How I will surely grow.
Don't tell me this is just a test,
That I am truly blessed.
That I am chosen for the task,
Apart from all the rest.
Don't come at me with answers
That can only come from me,
Don't tell me how my grief will pass,
That I will soon be free.
Don't stand in pious judgment
the bonds I must untie,
Don't tell me how to grieve,
Don't tell me when to cry.
Accept me in my ups and downs,
need someone to share,
Just hold my hand and let me cry
And say, "My friend, I care
Author unknown
in my car
in my car the tears flow free
away from everyone else but me
alone in my car with only my sorrow
i keep hoping it won't be the same tomorrow
but it is and as i drive home from work each day
it is strength that i beg for each time that i pray
god, let me make it just one more mile
on this road of life without my child
by renee williams
Member of lossofachild2 grief support group
away from everyone else but me
alone in my car with only my sorrow
i keep hoping it won't be the same tomorrow
but it is and as i drive home from work each day
it is strength that i beg for each time that i pray
god, let me make it just one more mile
on this road of life without my child
by renee williams
Member of lossofachild2 grief support group
Thanks for stopping by!
Thanks for stopping by my Grief Support Blog! This blog will be added to as new resources are discovered and examined, as I find new poetry, or write new articles. Please stop back by again!
A blog seems to scroll on forever as you add to it, and older articles are "archived". Scroll to the bottom of the page and click on a link to see older articles. You'll then be taken to the top of the blog again and will have to scroll down the page to see the older articles now placed on the page.
CONTENTS
Poems and Submissions by Others...
~One More Mile, Renee Williams
~A Pair of Shoes, Anonymous
~God Saw You, Anonymous
~How Am I?, by Jennifer Bonner
~How We Survive, by Mark Rickerby
~Please See Me Through My Tears, Kelly Osmont
~To One In Sorrow, Grace Noll Crowell
Memorials...
~Michael Aaron Botten
~Matthew Robert Slasor
Resources
~Two More Resources
~Support Groups Online
~Books and Articles
~List of Grief and Comfort Songs
~Tributes to Lost Loved Ones
Articles
~Cloud Bursts
~Endless Highway
~I Feel That No One Cares
~Seaching for Comfort and Cures
~Child Loss - A Different Dimension of Grief
~The Elusive Good Night's Sleep
~Our Grief Becomes a Part of Who We Are
~Healing Times - Taking Care of You
~Some Ways to Help a Grieving Person
~They Are Worthy of Our Grief
~Coming Back to Life Again
~Another Calendar Page Falls to the Floor
~Holiday Memorial Wreath
~The Grief Pack
~No More Compensation
~Grief Journeys - Heading for Dry Land
~The Red Light Won't Go Off (Child Loss)
~Go At Your Own Pace...But Keep on Trying
Michael Aaron Botten 02/18/74-01/09/07
Michael Aaron Botten
February 18, 1974 - January 09, 2007
Beloved first-born son of Sandra Burgess-Dean and William Botten; brother to Tracie Dean and Matthew Botten; father to two beautiful daughters, Krista and Kelsey.
He loved old cars, motorcycles, pickup trucks, fixing things, remote control vehicles, model cars, bicycles, creating with clay, drawing, reading his Bible, his family, friends, and co-workers. He was a volunteer fireman and a maintenance technician.
Michael suffered from sudden, acute, and uncontrollable diabetes in his late 20's. Gastroparesis and osteoporosis, along with severe and painful neuropathy, soon followed. Although he endured a broken heart, broken dreams, and a very painful, broken body, he continued smiling and praying for everyone he knew. He expected nothing. He appreciated everything. He gave all he could give.
Beloved first-born son of Sandra Burgess-Dean and William Botten; brother to Tracie Dean and Matthew Botten; father to two beautiful daughters, Krista and Kelsey.
He loved old cars, motorcycles, pickup trucks, fixing things, remote control vehicles, model cars, bicycles, creating with clay, drawing, reading his Bible, his family, friends, and co-workers. He was a volunteer fireman and a maintenance technician.
Michael suffered from sudden, acute, and uncontrollable diabetes in his late 20's. Gastroparesis and osteoporosis, along with severe and painful neuropathy, soon followed. Although he endured a broken heart, broken dreams, and a very painful, broken body, he continued smiling and praying for everyone he knew. He expected nothing. He appreciated everything. He gave all he could give.
God Saw You
God saw you getting tired,
When a cure was not to be.
So He wrapped his arms around you,
and whispered, "Come to me".
You didn't deserve what you went through,
So He gave you rest.
God's garden must be beautiful,
He only takes the best
And when I saw you sleeping,
So peaceful and free from pain
I could not wish you back
To suffer that again.
Anonymous
God saw you getting tired,
When a cure was not to be.
So He wrapped his arms around you,
and whispered, "Come to me".
You didn't deserve what you went through,
So He gave you rest.
God's garden must be beautiful,
He only takes the best
And when I saw you sleeping,
So peaceful and free from pain
I could not wish you back
To suffer that again.
Anonymous
Michael's Music
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